I really am beginning to hate the human race. Well, this is a little awkward
I am a true lady of leisure. I couldn’t sleep until 3am last night and then I woke up at 4am after a bad dream & then there was literally what felt like another hand touching my hand. It had to have been a ghost. It really freaked me out and I am still thinking about what it means. I have felt in the weirdest of moods today. Woke up at 12.30 which is just so unusual for me but I suppose that shows that I needed that sleep. I have decided to set myself schedules for my days because otherwise I won’t end up doing anything and I will just feel like shit. I went to work to collect my tips which was pretty weird to be honest. So glad I don’t work there anymore. Totally screwed up my life (more than it already was). & now I have just come back from town where on my way back from Waitrose I was approached by a charity representative from Mencap and just speaking to this guy has really opened my eyes. He was Venezuelan and we spoke a little Spanish and it was very evident that my Spanish has suffered as a result of dropping out. He made me see that there is so much suffering in the world which is ignored. I need to stop being so selfish and I should be so grateful for what I have. I wish I had money to donate to charity but right now my financial situation is pretty dire. I have decided at some point I want to work for charity. I cannot wait to go to Mexico and volunteer. It is going to be life-changing.
I cannot sleep because I fell asleep in the sun earlier and now I feel sick with worry and all these thoughts are racing and I am restless.
I am so angry with you. You took me for an absolute ride and used me and I need my money. I don’t know why I answer your calls. I don’t want to be friends with you. I wanted you to be something you never were. I don’t think people can change. Not you.
I basically gave up my job because of the stress it caused me and because it became my life.
I’ve been feeling much more level-headed but I just feel so alone here. No one seems to notice.
I need the confirmation from Royal Holloway because I am in limbo here and I am going nuts.
12 days until Parklife
19 days until Gran Canaria
HOLLA
Just gave in my notice to work and I never have to work there again. I feel so weird.
This doesn’t look much like me
I feel different and I feel like I have changed but I can’t work out how and if it is for better or worse
(Source: icanread)
to do:
blonde
tattoo
exercise
eat less shit
tidy room
go to docs
buy present
buy new camera
save money
write spanish novel
book mexico flights
This town is so fucking lonely I can’t take it anymore.
